Mommy needs a timeout.

So....all week long I have had twin girls teething! BOTH! Fever is high and babies are cranky. Daddy is cranky too because he works nights and neither are able to go to daycare. I can't stay home because I just started back to work. I am feeling a bit tired this week. The continuous nights of no sleep are starting to catch up with me.

I emailed my mother yesterday asking her to pray for me because I seriously think I am losing my mind. She said it's hormones and I wasn't going crazy. HA..she hasn't been around me. This week, though, I have been reminded of why I work.

When Kurt started working for my dad last year, it left me with the option of not working. I thought about it for about 8 seconds. I HAVE to work. It's just not in me to not. I enjoy working. I feel good about working. I did take a part time job and it makes me so happy. I enjoy it so much. I have had a lot of people that have asked me why I would work if I didn't have to, instead of staying home with my kids. The answer to that is simple. I'm a better mother for working. God blessed me with a lot of things in my life, but patience was not one of them. It's not rewarding me to be at home with them all day. I know that sounds terrible, but it's true. I love them to full capacity when I come home to them each day. When I am home with them constantly, I am not able to cherish them the way I should. And I don't think that makes me a bad mother. I am able to recognize that I am best when I am working. There should be no shame in that. It's just like when I hated pregnancy. I got so many looks and opinions over that. My doctor put it best one day. For me, personally, to love pregnancy was like asking someone to love cancer. My body went through hell and back for 9 months. The girls literally sucked the life out of me. It's hard to love something that makes you puke multiple times a day for 36 weeks. It's hard to love being poked with needles twice a week for months. It's hard to love losing so much blood that you need multiple transfusions. It's hard to love losing your mind and wanting to hurt yourself.

All of that is the same at being a stay at home mom for me. I can't love my children the way I need to when I am with them 24/7. And I'm ok with that. Why can't others be?

I don't really feel like you should ever judge anyone for the decisions they make. You haven't been in their shoes, so you don't know what they are going through. SO...if working makes you a better person and mother, WORK! DOn't worry about what others think. I certainly don't...