Today was insane. I mean INSANE! Work was nuts, and by nuts I mean 2 live radio interviews, 8 photo sessions, 5 viewings, and the phones ringing off the hook! At one point I wanted to throw my phone out the window! My phone is one of those "smart" phones and so I am alerted every time I get a call, text, email (from 3 different accounts), myspace, and facebook. So, needless to say, it goes off....A LOT! My husband hates it. Probably because it plays a different song for every alert and person!
While running along on this crazy day, I got an alert from my email. 9 times out of 10, it's from the ya ya's! We spoke about them previously. I always check my email when it's the ya ya's. You never know if one will need me. Today's emailed showed that they did. One of our girls lost her brother in law a short while back, and yesterday her father was diagnosed with cancer. Today's email was about 2 more tragedies related to her brother in law's friends. She was asking for prayer. I would be too. I simply replied with my usual life verse. "The will of God will NEVER take you where the Grace of God will not protect you." And I let her know I would be praying.
I felt the need to share a little about what this verse has done for me. I was married in October of 2008. In November, about 3 weeks later, I got pregnant. At 7 weeks along, before most people even know they are pregnant, I was told I was having twins. I gotta tell you...it didn't sit well. I cried like a baby for 36 weeks. On the very day I found out I was pregnant, my friend Mindy sent me this verse via email. "The will of God will NEVER take you where the Grace of God will not protect you." At this point, no one knew I was pregnant.
My pregnancy was by far the hardest situation I have ever been through. I started getting sick at 8 weeks and lost over 20lbs in a matter of weeks. I'm a small person, so 20lbs is a huge deal. Everything that I put in my mouth came out. At 20 weeks along I started contractions and was put on bed rest. I drove over an hour multiple times a week for 4 months to be "stressed tested" and poked with a dozen needles. I became so ill that I had to have a blood transfusion. Of course, this is me we are talking about and so, of course, I had an allergic reaction to the blood! For 9 months I went through hell. And I mean hell. I became very depressed. 2 weeks before I delivered I thought I was in labor. I was rushed to the hospital to learn that my blood pressure was through the roof. I was taken by ambulance to Columbia where I stayed a few days to determine if I had preclampsia and to see if they would have to take the babies. I prayed they would. I had had enough. I couldn't take it another minute. To make matters worse, I was put on the floor with all the mothers who had already delivered because they were so full. Talk about making a depressed woman worse. I literally HATED the babies growing inside me.
After a few days there I was released...STILL PREGNANT! A few days later, I took a little drive. I came upon the intersection of 50 and 65. It was at that moment I decided to end my life. I saw a semi coming and floored it. All I can say is that my car slowly turned right and into the Taco Bell parking lot. I was in the drivers seat that day, but I wasn't the one steering that wheel. As I sat in the parking lot shaking, that verse popped into my head. "The will of God will NEVER take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."
I was admitted into the hospital that day and underwent numerous psychological reviews. I was crazy! Seriously! I was only released into the custody of my parents where I stayed for a week until I delivered my sweet baby girls. As I held them for the first time on July 23rd of 2009, a year ago this Friday, I can not tell you the amount of love that welled up in my heart. There are truly no words.
When I say to you face to face, in a text, in an email, that 'The will of God will NEVER take you where the Grace of God will not protect you', I mean it. They are words I say because I know them to be true. It is by God's Grace and God's Grace alone that I am alive today.
"The will of God will NEVER take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."
I am living proof!
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